The Dappled Doxie's Mango Fruit Tea

This is the tea your dappled dachshund drinks while sprawled belly-up in the sunniest patch of floor, merle coat glittering like he personally invented summer.

One sip and it’s pure liquid sunshine: ripe, juicy mango that wraps around your tongue like a doxie wrapping around your ankle the second you open the treat jar. The base is a naturally sweet, fruit-forward tisane so summery it should come with a tiny pair of doggy sunglasses. Hot? It’s a warm tropical hug that smells like vacation and mischief. Iced? It transforms into the most refreshing glass of “yes, you can have the porch swing all day” you’ve ever tasted—perfect for those 95-degree days when your dappled clown is panting dramatically and demanding ice cubes “for his water bowl” (translation: he’s going to steal yours).

No caffeine, zero guilt, all chaos. The mango note is bold enough to make tails wag but never cloying—like your merle monster’s perfect balance of “angelic speckled face” and “absolute felony in progress.”

Sun-ripened mango, papaya sweetness, pineapple wink, hibiscus brightness, zero chill 

Serve it iced with a splash of sparkling water and watch your doxie try to drink it straight from the pitcher (he’s fast for short legs). Hot when the little speckled bandit finally deigns to curl up on your lap after a hard day of sunbeam surveillance.

Warning: May cause spontaneous backyard zoomies, attempted theft of fruit garnish, and an immediate need to buy tiny Hawaiian shirts for your dog. Summer never ends when your dachshund has already decided it’s eternal mango season.

Tastes like the moment your dappled dachshund realizes the screen door was left open. Pure joy, zero regrets.