The Doxie Mom's Peach Paradise Tea

This is the tea every dachshund mom reaches for the second her velcro sausage finally burrows into her lap and refuses to move for the next three hours.

One sip and you’re in full doxie-mom paradise: sun-ripened peach that’s sweeter than the “just one more treat” head-tilt, tart cranberry that gives the tiniest playful nip (exactly like when your doxie pretends to bite your nose), and a silky rose finish that blooms across the tongue like a long, contented doxie sigh against your neck. Caffeine-free, so you can drink it all day while your short-legged overlord snoozes on you without either of you getting the zoomies.

Hot, it’s a warm blanket hug. Iced, it’s porch-swing-in-summer bliss while your doxie sprawls dramatically in the single shaft of sunlight like he’s modeling for a Renaissance painting.

Juicy Georgia peach, bright cranberry zing, velvety rose petals, honeyed apple sweetness, pure comfort.

This blend is basically what happens when someone distills the exact feeling of your dachshund curling into a perfect sausage crescent on your chest, exhaling that little sleepy snort, and making the entire world outside the blanket fort irrelevant.

Dachshund moms don’t just drink this tea. They mainline it, text photos of their empty tin to all their doxie friends with the caption “need backup ASAP,” and guard the last cup with the same ferocity their dog uses to protect the single sock he stole in 2019.